Psychic Dose - Myrkviðr: Album Review

Psychic Dose are a doom metal band from Florida whose music typically talks about witches and the occult, aka, typical stuff you see in Florida on a daily basis.

Movies That Should Be Remade Vol. 1

Remakes get a bad rap. As you would expect, doing an all-serious remake of Robocop with none of the satire and humor, a Clash of Titans remake with the gracefulness of a Michael Bay movie, and an edgy remake of Snow White all based on name recognition rather than artistic integrity tend to fail pretty hard. But what about when there are ideas left on the table, and a remake is actually justified? A while back, I discussed some of the movies that should never be remade, so let’s get a little bit more positive and examine movies that I wouldn’t mind seeing a remake of… if they were done right.

Okilly Dokilly - Howdilly Doodilly: Album Review

Nothing really cleanses my cynical, cold-hearted palette like shitting all over an album that nobody wanted and is pretty much rotten to its very core. Ladies and gentlemen: this is the Ned Flanders themed metal band.  

Update: We Have a Schedule!

So the eternal problem with this blog is the fact that I didn't really start a posting schedule because I just can't commit to something I rarely get a benefit from. Well I had a Change of Heart(TM) and now I decided to keep a schedule for this blog (and maybe touch up this ugly place while I am at it.

So here's how the schedule works from now on. Every Friday at about 1 PM EST, a new post will be up. What that post is will change every time. Starting this Friday, you'll get a review, followed by an article every week. The review could be anything from movies to music to anime, and the article will be something like my "Movies That Should Never Be Remade" post, long posts about my opinions on certain topics, stuff of that nature. That means 2 reviews and 2 articles a month. Shouldn't be too hard, and I can keep relatively up to date on new stuff as it arrives.

Coming up this Friday (Dec 16th) is a special mystery review, the following Friday is a new article (something actually positive this time) and from there the schedule will take over.

Here's to the end of 2016 and making a fresh start in 2017.

-Eric

Movies That Should Never Be Remade Vol. 1

Remakes get a bad rap, for good reason. The modern remake is all about name recognition, not revisiting an idea or plot point or concept that was forgotten about in the past to try and tell a new story, instead it’s all about finding the right name that will get the right amount of money. That’s a pretty cynical way of looking at things, but can you blame me? So while we know nothing is sacred in Hollywood, why don’t we talk about all the movies that should never have remakes. Ever. 

Jamcast Episode 27: At Least Green Day is Consistant With How Trash They Are

Note: Podcast was recorded in late October.

Prepare for the most outdated episode of The Jamcast yet! On this episode, Eric is at school, complains about Drifters, gets hype over Testament and laments over 90s pop punk. Meanwhile, Dakota loves Drifters for some reason and discusses the Uncanny Valley of Edge.

The Misfits - Friday The 13th: EP Review

Originally written on July 8th, 2016, for Tumblr. 

There comes a time in every critic’s life where he simply must ask himself: “why bother getting out of bed anymore”? For me, that time is now. I often wonder why I bothered to hold on to hope for The Misfits after The Devil’s Rain, and for some reason thought that maybe, just maybe, Friday The 13th would bring it all around. Jerry would be a competent singer, they’d go back to heavier punk/punk rock, and we could enjoy a new era and just forget about the early 2000s like most of us already had. Turns out, for once in my life, I was wrong… and also kinda right.

The Shallows: Quick Review

Originally written on July 8th, 2016 for Tumblr. 

Let’s be 100% honest. 2016 has been one of the worst years for films.

Everybody Wants Some!!: Quick Movie Review

Originally written July 29th, 2016 for Tumblr

This may be the most overrated movie I’ve seen all year.

The Post Where I Complain About Movie Tropes

Originally Written on February 19th, 2016 for Tumblr

I watch a lot of movies. Sometimes I notice some really obvious, and really stupid movie cliches. Here are some of the worst.

New Metallica: Does Anyone Care?

Originally written on July 26th, 2016 for Tumblr

So Metallica finally has a new record coming out and the reception to this news has been… nonexistent. There’s the usual “they should apologize for St. Anger” crowd hating it already, and the die hards who are already planning to buy whatever bloated limited edition they are going to release, but besides the two extremes, there really hasn’t been any response to this album as of late.

Metallica - Hardwired...To Self-Destruct: Album Review

I don’t really need to explain who Metallica is. You know who they are, your dad knows who they are, babies who just came out of the womb know “Enter Sandman” and “For Whom the Bell Tolls” by heart.

Suicide Squad: Movie Review

-Spoilers-

Let’s be honest, boys and girls, DC has been fucking up pretty hard lately. Batman V. Superman was trash, pretty much every other trailer for their films look mediocre, and Batman now fucked Batwoman in The Killing Joke. The only thing they really had left was Suicide Squad, the vibrant, weird villain pow-wow about villains being villains and being forced to do good things for even worse people. It’s been getting slammed in the review department, but how is it really?

Sausage Party: Quick Review

I’m not sure what I was expecting.

Sumerlands - Sumerlands: Album Review

Is the metal community mature enough to realize that metal is long dead? Yes, no matter how much you spin your Judas Priest or Slayer records, it will not change the fact that Jeff Hanneman is long gone, Bruce Dickinson can’t sing anymore, and Judas Preist’s best days are long behind them. Yet most modern metal bands still cling to the concept of 80s metal. Modern thrash bands that aren’t Lich King or Havok stick to repeating the same cliches that made 90s thrash insufferable. Modern speed metal is even worse, with so little personality or style that it can be hard to not fall asleep listening to a single track. And yet, there is Sumerlands. A band that ditches the speed and drama of metal both classic and modern to deliver what is perhaps the tightest and strongest new release of the year.

Shokran - Exodus: Quick Album Review

Exodus is one of the most surprisingly bad albums I’ve heard all year.

Green Day - Revolution Radio: Album Review

I think the hardest thing in my life recently has been being a Green Day fan. Not necessarily just existing as one, but being around other fans as part of the community has just been taxing recently. Why? Well, picture how Megadeth fans feel about Rust In Peace, except Rust in Peace was just kinda OK, but they still think it’s the best record ever, and the follow up somehow better, even though in reality it was worse. That’s how Green Day fans have been lately. It’s normal for fans to clench onto a good record as proof that their favorite artist has talent, but Green Day fans answer every complaint with “American Idiot” and “21st Century” like their lives depend on it. Being so narrow minded is only damaging to when a band does something new (maybe not better, but original) because it makes you perceive everything that isn’t ‘the best’ as ‘the worst’. In the case of Green Day, this applies to almost every album before and after the American Idiot/21st Century days. No one likes Uno, Dos and Tre, even though it’s some of the most original material the band ever put out. No one likes Insomniac because it was too weird but Nimrod is perfect because it’s safe.

Don't Breathe: Quick Review

Another year, another small horror movie that gets an insane amount of buzz. Just going to put it out there that I hope this trend doesn’t end for a long while, cause almost every film since Oculus that’s been under this “small indie horror darling” flag has been phenomenal. 

No Country for Old Men: Overrated

Welcome to the overrated movie review, where I take a movie that was given critical praise upon release, and explain why it’s overrated. Strap in and strap on.

I feel so accomplished. I got all my projects done, I caught up on some anime, watched Barton Fink for the first time ever (it was pretty good), and I saw No Country for Old Men (it wasn’t pretty good).

Doctor Strange: Movie Review

A "no spoilers" movie review of the new MCU film, Doctor Strange. Has the MCU gotten old yet, or is the new style enough to carry your ass to a seat?