The Misfits - Friday The 13th: EP Review

Originally written on July 8th, 2016, for Tumblr. 

There comes a time in every critic’s life where he simply must ask himself: “why bother getting out of bed anymore”? For me, that time is now. I often wonder why I bothered to hold on to hope for The Misfits after The Devil’s Rain, and for some reason thought that maybe, just maybe, Friday The 13th would bring it all around. Jerry would be a competent singer, they’d go back to heavier punk/punk rock, and we could enjoy a new era and just forget about the early 2000s like most of us already had. Turns out, for once in my life, I was wrong… and also kinda right.

The thing I’ve always hated about Jerry Only’s Misfits is that it always seemed like he was half-assing it. Like he was obviously there for the money and nothing else. And there is perhaps no greater example of this than the EP’s first track, Friday The 13th. Everything about this track is just wrong. In fact, it does have some good things going for it, yet every right decision is mixed in with a worse decision.

Friday the 13th starts with harsher guitars and a heavier tone. Ok sounds good, but is then followed by the same lame punk rock (3 chords, lame chorus) shit that Only perfected on Devil’s Rain. On top of that, even if the music was improved, Only doesn’t change his singing style at all. So you get boring music on top of a boring singer mixed with the clunkiest lyrics I’ve ever heard. Seriously, everything about this track sounds rushed. Jerry sounds like he’s straining to have 3 words take up a chorus that’s begging for some more lyrics, not to mention that his lyrical content seems to know as much about Friday the 13th as Ronny Yu did.

However, with all that said, the next two tracks are actually… pretty good. I’m surprised. Honestly. They’re not stellar, but they remind me of the better tracks of Devil’s Rain. Where Jerry sounds like he’s just having fun singing about monsters and zombies, and basically acting like an enthusiastic Party City employee. Mad Monster Party is a party track with not much to it. Couple of chords and some better singing from Only who finally seems to understand that he isn’t Danzig and shouldn’t be trying to be. Laser Eye comes off in a similar manner. It’s generic as fuck, but at least it sounds like they’re actually trying, with Chupacabra’s drums sounding pretty fun.

It’s all brought down by Nightmare On Elm Street. It’s a pop punk sounding track that is on the same level as Friday The 13th. The lyrics are uninspired and clunky and the music is just mediocre, with Only utilizing the exact same chords and progression for almost the entire EP, and throwing in some “whoas” as if they count towards lyrical count. 

I was pleasantly surprised by Friday The 13th. Even if that feeling only lasted for 1.5 tracks and doesn’t really count for anything. If anything Mad Monster Party is a good example of what Jerry is good at. Just fun nonsense songs, like a SFW version of the classic Misfits. I honestly wouldn’t mind the next Misfits album sounding like that if it meant that it was tolerable.

Overall Friday The 13th is mediocre and you should not support it. And until Jerry Only leaves the band or gets someone who can actually write music, I refuse to buy any more Misfits music. It just isn’t worth it.

4/10

TL;DR: It didn’t hurt that bad, but it left a bruise. Don’t bother.