Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Everybody Wants Some!!: Quick Movie Review

Originally written July 29th, 2016 for Tumblr

This may be the most overrated movie I’ve seen all year.

 Everybody Wants Some is a movie concept that at first, is almost impossible to fuck up. It’s Dazed and Confused, the classic music-filled comedy about the lives of adolescents on one night of partying in the 70s, brought forward to the 80s with all the glam metal glory.

Instead, Everybody Wants Some takes that concept and turns it into one of the most boring comedies I’ve ever seen. Not just “boring for 2016” boring period. The humor is the hi-jinks of Dazed and Confused as our protagonist Jake enters college and meets his new friends on the baseball team, but in between are just large chunks of nothing. Nothing happens, nothing is accomplished, the characters talk about nothing, and when it does feel like things start to move, they come to a screeching halt. Not to mention any punchline that does occur is just par for the course college-dude-bro stuff that happens in every college film since Animal House, with the occasional weird look or catchphrase from Jake’s quirky teammates.

The music is the most insulting thing. You think “Dazed and Confused in the 80s” and I think, Van Halen, The Cars, Yes, Journey, Def Leapoard, etc. Hell, the movie’s namesake is from a Van Halen track! But what do we get? Mostly 70s pop/disco/funk, 70s country in 1 scene, some early 80s hardcore punk in 1 scene, Van Halen’s “Everybody Wants Some!!” in 1 scene for no reason, and The Cars “Let The Good Times Roll” closing out the credits. It’s fucking baffling how a movie that is called the “80s Dazed and Confused” couldn’t even muster up a soundtrack with any good 80s music. As if the pickings were slim.

Skip Everybody Wants Some. It’s a 2 hr waste of time.

3/10.

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