Nothing really cleanses my cynical, cold-hearted palette like shitting all over an album that nobody wanted and is pretty much rotten to its very core. Ladies and gentlemen: this is the Ned Flanders themed metal band.
For those not in the know, Okilly Dokilly is a Ned Flanders themed metal band. As in, Ned Flanders from The Simpsons. Uptight, highly devout, bland boring dude with a kind attitude who’s constantly shit on by Homer. So obviously, if you were going to make a Simpsons parody band, it would be about this guy. Howdilly Doodilly is the band’s first (and hopefully last) album, featuring all Ned Flanders themed songs with direct quotes from the big Flanders himself.
I’m going to be frank (or should I say, I’m going to be Flanders... *crickets*) I didn’t like this album. In fact, it’s one of those rare occasions where pretty much everything about its creation defies all logic. As if it was willed into being by the pure stench of its own bullshit. Let’s take it step by step shall we?
First, I know parody and comedy bands may go for a style or theme, but why Ned Flanders and not just The Simpsons? That seems like a quick way to pigeon-hole yourself. Hell, you could have just been a regular comedy band, but called yourself “Sadgasm” as a Simpsons reference. But no. As Okilly Dokilly, your music can only be about Ned and the rest of the Flanders. Secondly, was there a reason why you all had to dress up like Ned Flanders? Not a criticism I guess, but it doesn’t seem to add anything other than just to make you look ridiculous. Next, you classify yourself as “nedal” (metal, but also Ned Flanders, haha get it, kill me now) yet you don’t have any actual metal elements, but more on that later. And finally, you’re supposed to be a comedy band, known for making people laugh with weirdo music styles and zany lyrics but resort to predictable chord progressions and repeating the same quote for 3 minutes and calling it a song, how did you trick people into buying this?!
OK, so I guess I have to talk about the actual music now. Like I said earlier, Okilly Dokilly calls themselves “nedal” leading one to believe they are some form of metal, but I implore you to give it a listen and see a single hint of metal in this record. I understand metal is a pretty broad genre and doesn’t need to conform to any one particular style to be classified as such, but Okilly Dokilly just isn’t metal. What we have here is closer to alt rock more than anything. The distortion isn’t up to 11, the riffs are focused on a smoother progression (some punk influences there) rather than speeding along, and aren’t complex enough to be anything more than a crunchy sounding Nirvana track. Then there are the vocals which are just plain bad. When the singer isn’t more or less humming along to his own tracks, he’s trying a scratchy hiss of a scream. I can only assume that this is what he thinks metal vocalists sound like. When chords speed along and the screams come in, I suppose they’re going for some kind of crust punk or grindcore sound, but it’s not loud or intense enough to catch that high. Sometimes the songs slow down enough and give off a groovier vibe to be considered something close to doom metal, but it’s ruined by the weak and muddy mixing of it all, plus the annoying synth effects.
Oh yeah, there’s synth effects also. They’re not to intrusive, but it often clashes with the sound they’re going for. The opening track for instance “White Wine Spritzer” is one of the more chaotic tracks, even having some djent-ish breakdowns, but throughout most of this track is a synth part that has a ton of energy and a pretty decent hook. I just don’t get it, are you trying to be heavy and hard, or get people dancing? Or are you just trying to be experimental?
It’s also worth mentioning that the best parts of Okilly Dokilly are when they aren’t playing their own music. No, not in a Weird Al parody sort of way, just in a “we’re playing that song you like for no reason sort of way”. The song “Nothing At All” features the exact lyrical and musical pattern from the chorus of The Offspring’s “Gone Away”, and most of the song “Panic Room” is just “She’ll Be Coming Round The Mountain”. Honestly, I question whether or not they were trying to get away with plagiarism at times, since the Offspring bit only happens for one verse on one track.
Then there’s the lyrical content. Or rather there’s the one joke the band wants to make, and they make it 1000 times. The songs on this record revolve around picking one quote from Flanders, then repeating that quote a million times. The music rarely reflects any sort of tone or timing that comedy songs usually rely on, instead going for, “hey this is a good quote, let’s overuse it”. You want proof? Here’s the lyrics to the song “More Animal Than Flan”, as copied and pasted from Genius.com.
Four thousand days
Four thousand days
Four thousand days
Four thousand days
Ann Landers is a boring old biddy
I was more animal than man
I was more animal than man
I was more animal than man
I was more animal than man
Four thousand days
Four thousand days
Four thousand days
Four thousand days
Ann Landers is a boring old biddy
I was more animal than man
I was more animal than man
I was more animal than man
I was more animal than man
I was more animal than man
I was more animal than man
I was more animal than man
I was more animal than man
I was more animal than man
I was more animal than man
Now, swap out each verse with a different Flanders quote and there’s the entire album.
Does Okilly Dokilly have any positive qualities? Well… sometimes the music is catchy, in a “i’ve been listening to this for too long and it’s stuck inside my head” sort of way. The chorus of “You’re A Jerk” is fun, and the music around it feels more at home with the new-wave alt rock thing they’re trying to accomplish… if only the scratchy vocals and repetitive lyrics didn’t constantly remind me that I’m listening to trash. And I guess I can say I sort of appreciate the dedication to the Ned Flanders gimmick, if I can only appreciate it the same way I appreciate a well done shitpost.
“Eric why are you being so hard on a comedy band? They’re just trying to make you laugh”. I know I tend to give media that can make me laugh a pass, but that’s usually because an actual attempt at humor was made. Okilly Dokilly isn’t funny. It’s the illusion of comedy, where a gimmick and a silly idea come together to form nothing.
I honestly wonder how this band got any attention when their demo was released a while back. I wouldn’t be surprised if this was some hipster guy’s alt rock band that no one liked, and he thought if he could rebrand it as a comedy band, people would fall for the gimmick. Really that’s all this album is: the result of a hipster with too much irony and not enough of a sense of humor trying to make himself seem cool and ironic and experimental enough to make a living instead of getting a job like a normal person. That’s what this album should be called really: “Aren’t we experimental? Give us money.”
0/10
TL;DR: It’s repetitive, boring, gimmicky trash. Stay away from this album at all costs.
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