365 days and not a single one wasted by
you or me, I'm sure. It's time to praise those who put some effort
into their art and ridicule those who don't.
Rule 1: Only full original material
from 2017, no re-releases or demos. This means all EPs, Singles and
LPs from this year are fair game, but not singles for upcoming
releases in 2018. This also means no Live albums or Cover albums.
Those just don’t count.
Rule 2: An album cannot end up on the
“best” list for being just good, it has to be great or
near-perfect. Likewise, albums cannot end up on the “worst” list
just for being mediocre. If you are on the “worst” list, you
deserve it.
Rule 3: Don’t get hung up on the
ranking. All music on the “best” list is good, so do yourself a
favor and check everyone out.
Honorable Mentions: for the bands who
peaked my interest, but I can't in good conscience recommend as
“good” because they're more personal favorites, or are just plain
strange.
Foxygen – Hang
Sometimes simplicity is what makes good
music work. Foxygen's Hang is a short but pleasing album filled with
the sounds of a laid back David Bowie and Lou Reed collaborating
while they wait for their Starbucks or whatever. It's indie rock at
its most simple and most indulgent, with several tracks being almost
direct copies of the stylings of the aforementioned Bowie and Reed. I
would complain but these guys handle those styles quite well so I'm
not going to.
Operation Cunt Destroyer – S/T
[NSFW... if that wasn't obvious] I'm
ashamed to admit I like this. Operation Cunt Destroyer is a slam
metal band that drowns itself in the gross, sloppy, abrasive sound of
the genre. Slow, crunchy, heavy grooves, nonsensical screaming and
growling, and lyrics about bestiality, incest and all the other
fetishes I don't look at (honest). It's gross, it's ugly, and it's
not for everyone... that must be why I can't get enough of it.
Havok – Conformicide
People have been pretty down on this
album, probably because they all came to the absolutely unique and
never before seen conclusion that Havok made an album rejecting
conformity but is all around generic. Wow, I wish I was as smart as
those guys. They must watch Rick And Morty. Yes, Conformicide has
some of the weakest lyrics in Havok's discography, but it's still
leagues above what modern thrash has become. Maybe I just listen to
an absurd amount of thrash metal compared to the normal person in
some vein attempt to reclaim that little tickle in my spine that I
first got when I listened to Megadeth and haven't been able to find
since oh god I'm so alone, but Havok's Conformicide is a cheesy but
fun and energetic album. The band has never sounded better, it's just
a shame the lyrics often make me want to drop heavy calculus
textbooks on my gonads.
Hellripper – Coagulating
Darkness
A harsh and heavy black metal album with a harsh and heavy NWOBHM and
old school thrash influence. What's not to love (other than the fact
that the songs are all about the typical black metal stuff like
satan, death, blackness and satan's big black... crown)?
BEST
#7: Dr. Living
Dead – Cosmic Conqueror
I was a little down on this album when it first came out for not
being as complex as its predecessor, but what it lakes it complexity
it makes up for in heart. Dr. Living Dead put together a tight, well
executed crossover thrash album, and yet again go relatively
unnoticed in the thrash scene. It's fast, it's intense, with just a
dash of cosmic horror to add a little extra spice to the overall
tone. It might be a bit “meat n potatoes” at this point, but that
didn't keep it from standing out amongst the bland crossover trash
that is the usual thrash scene.
#6: Rings of
Saturn – Ulta Ulta
Ok so maybe I was a bit too hard on Ulta Ulta when it first came out.
Rings of Saturn and deathcore are not my usual cup of tea, but
something about Ulta Ulta just clicked. Lots of intricate guitar
work, speedy riffs and the messier breakdowns actually feel as though
they belong this time around as opposed to just being shoehorned in
this time around. What makes it all work is the more tight and
consistent songwriting, but also the sci-fi themes the band goes for
being so perfectly expressed in the music. “The Macrocosom”
meanwhile, may just be one of the best singles of the year, with its
absolutely mind blowing composition. Rings of Saturn made me second
guess the deathcore genre, and here's hoping that it will all make a
little bit more sense to me next year.
#5: Overkill –
The Grinding Wheel
Just when you think Overkill is on their way to the grave, they
release the best album in their modern discography. The Grinding
Wheel isn't exactly consistent, but that's what makes it so
interesting. Overkill pull from every influence their arsenal, from
Black Sabbath to Iron Maiden to Pantera, pulling together an album
that revels in their more dangerous and punky old school days, their
awkward yet charming groove metal teens, and their thunderous thrash
adulthood. It's the kind of thrash album that I've been craving for
years, one that isn't afraid to be a little weird, a little strange,
and a little badass. It should also go without saying but I'm going
to say it anyway: Bobby Blitz is one of the best vocalists in modern
metal, and his voice remaining as powerful and vibrant as ever just
adds to Overkill's staying power.
#4: DragonForce
– Reaching Into Infinity
I already went into a full review as to why this album is great, but
the short version is that DragonForce have been killing it.
DragonForce's recent discography has been doing something that
normally, blows up in a group's face. Once known for bloated (if
unique) solo filled, high intensity power metal, DragonForce has been
tightening up their sound. Less bloated songs, stronger melodies,
more progressive songwriting, it all adds up to a band trimming the
fat on their sound. Reaching Into Infinity is the final result and
it's easily some of the group's best work. Reaching Into Infinity
streamlines and builds upon the DragonForce's sound to the point of
utter perfection. The songs are complex, the tempo and intensity
never lets up, and the solos are just as insane and chaotic as ever,
without the bloated and drawn out song structure ruining the overall
flow. I know DragonForce is a bit of a joke in the power metal scene,
but trust me on this one: DragonForce have got it right.
#3: Dr. Colossus
– The Dank
When
I heard that another Simpsons themed metal band had released an EP, I
was happy. Not to actually listen to it, I was dreading that. I was
happy to tear into it. After last year's food poising disguised as
music, Okilly Dokilly, I was ready to sit down, get grumpy, and bitch
about awful indie bands trying too hard to be unique. Well I still
got angry... angry that I can't shit all over this album because it's
actually quite good. Dr. Colossus is a Simpsons themed psych/doom
metal band named after the obscure character, Dr. Colossus (stay away
from Death Mountain!) On the surface, Dr. Colossus is just another
band with a gimmick, but 2 things elevate the experience. The first
is that without the Simpsons angle, The Dank would still be a solid
doom metal album. Slow, heavy riffs with enough energy to stand apart
from your usual dry and repetitive doom metal. The second is that the
Simpsons material is used to elevate the material at hand, not carry
it. Dr. Colossus uses The Simpsons as an inspiration to fuel the
anxiety driven music and lyrics. In the song “Thrillho” for
instance, the song dives into the psychology of Milhouse, and
manipulates some of his famous quotes to discuss how Milhouse's life
is actually quite sad. It may seem like “baby's first
deconstruction” but Dr. Colossus teeters just on edge of
pretentious by being just interesting enough to be thought provoking
but not interesting enough to be taken too seriously. The result is
an album that instead of going for the “tragedy behind the comedy”
angle, instead goes for “this is the tragedy that makes
the comedy”. The Dank is not only a good album, but it's easily one
of the smartest LPs of the year.
#2: Lich King –
The Omniclasm
I try not to play favorites but you
know me, Lich King is getting a spot in my “best of” list. It's
tight, it's punky, it's got a sense of humor, it's Lich King
continuing the fantastic crossover thrash they laid the ground work
for on Born of The Bomb. Powerful, punchy, punky, and nearly perfect.
I'm seriously running out of ways to describe how fantastic Lich King
is. The Omniclasm contains some of Tom Martain's best vocals as well
as his most salty, bitter lyrics. Brian Westbrook's production is
just as flawless as ever, with a prominent bass, harsh and heavy
guitars, and heart-pounding drums. I could go on forever about how
Lich King is the best crossover thrash band ever, but I think I've
gone on long enough. However, if I had to stand back and look a bit
more objectively at The Omniclasm, the one criticism I do have (and
what kept it from being #1) was that Lich King no longer have
anything to really prove, and therefore don't exactly build on the
style that Born of The Bomb set up. This coupled with the production
that, while exquisite, is notably identical to Born of The Bomb's.
Yes Lich King dips there toe into a new genre on one track
(doom/stoner metal of all things) but there is a noticeable air of
familiarity here. Next album, I'll be a bit more objective. For now,
I'll sit in my comfort corner, and replay The Omniclasm until my ears
explode.
#1: F.Y.P.M. -
Dumbed Down
I
went back and forth on weather or not this, or The Omniclasm should
be my #1 pick. After all, this is barely an EP let alone a full LP.
In the end, I decided it was better to acknowledge a smaller indie
band doing something great that I did not expect, rather than an
album I pretty much knew I was going to love from the beginning. So
yes, F.Y.P.M.'s (that's Fuck You, Pay Me) Dumbed Down is my #1 album
of the year. F.Y.P.M. Is quite simply, a fantastic punk pank, who
revel in the harsh, untamed nature of hardcore punk and put their
heart and souls behind every single note. I simply could not get this
album out of my head. This band pressed record, screamed some of the
most intense, no-nonsense punk to exist, then graced the rest of us
with its existence. F.Y.P.M. Isn't afraid to call out athletes as
rapists, hardcore gun advocates as racists, and mainstream media as
intellectually inferior (dumbed down, even). The harsh, scratchy
vocals, rough guitars, thick bass, and punky drums all add up to
create an album with so much heart and energy it absolutely melts me.
It's certainly not the most subtle album in the world, but that's
what makes it so much fun. It's hardcore punk at its most raw, its
most abrasive, and its most fun.
What In The Hell Was I Thinking?!?
And now it's
time for the “What In The Hell Was I Thinking?!?” award, given to
the album that I reviewed over the past year and now see that my
thinking at the time was completely and utterly moronic. This year's
first “What In The Hell Was I Thinking?!?” award goes to...
The Flaming Lips
– Oczy Melody
This is what I
get for trying to get interested into new genres. At the time I rated
Oczy Melody an 8 out of 10. I really enjoyed the dream-like
electronic sound Oczy Melody offered. Listening to it again to
refresh my memory, however, I find this album incredibly boring. The
spacey sound this album goes for just goes to far and the result is
an album that feels like its made up of nothing but hot air. There's
no sense of progression, depth, or complexity going on here, it's
about as interesting and engaging as a the static between radio
stations.
WORST
#3: Mastodon –
Emperor of Sand
Mastodon why
can't you just leave well enough alone? I wouldn't give a shit about
this LP if Mastodon's previous work “Once More 'Round The Sun”
wasn't an improvement over their modern discography. Mastodon, for
the uninformed, is a progressive sludge metal band. That means a
harsh, metallic, chaotic sound and growly vocals mixed with complex
song structures and more artsy sensibilities. So far, Mastodon's
actual execution of that mission statement have taken the form of
“Remission” and “Leviathan”, with most everything else in
between being lukewarm pisswater, grasping at the coattails of Gojira
and Baroness, while not having the heart and complexity of one, and
lacking the strong melodies and progressive ideals of the other.
“Emperor of Sand” not only continues that downward spiral, but
additionally throws in Metallica and Black Sabbath into the list of
“bands Mastodon really likes and tries to incorporate into their
sound but doesn't understand what actually makes them good”. What
an utter disappointment. At least “Once More” had a decent track
or two and some interesting art.
#2: Municipal Waste – Slime and
Punishment
Ok listen, I
know I shit all over Municipal Waste more than anybody. Normally that
would constitute Slime and Punishment as an “easy target”,
something I don't really like to pick on. However, I just find this
album so breathtakingly dull. The riffs have no life to them, just
wave after wave of power chords and forgettable fills. In addition,
the album's production is so bland and washed out that any life in
the music is drained of all of its color and soul. Speaking of color,
I thought Municipal Waste was supposed to be a fun punky kind of band
who aren't afraid to get wild and weird. If that's the case, then why
is Slime and Punishment so clean and sterile? Considering that Tony
Foresta and Iron Reagan put out a pretty decent album this year (Crossover Ministry),
Slime and Punishment is a considerable let down. Slime and Punishment
isn't fun, it isn't stylish, and it's a real waste (har har) of time.
#1: Doyle – II: As We Die
I suppose this
is what I get for clinging on to hope. Doyle was the one spark in the
fallout of The Misfits with any sort of talent (except for Micheal
Graves, I suppose) and here he goes and wastes it on his second
album. There may be albums out there that are more deserving of this
spot, but the one that hurt me the most was Doyle II. Doyle took
every single constructive criticism he got from completing his first
record, then surpassed everyone's expectations by ignoring every
single one of them. Boring, samey songs that have the same
squeaky-clean, neutered horror style of The Misfits and a dozen other
horror punk/rock bands that don't have the faintest clue of what real
horror is. On top of everything, the production quality on this album
is just as rough and unfinished as Doyle's previous record. That
album is now retroactively ruined, since I simply considered its
rough production to Doyle not understanding how to produce a full
album on his own. Turns out I was mistaken, this is just what Doyle
thinks sounds good. God damn is this project a lost cause.
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