Six Feet Under - Torment: Album Review

I fucking hate it when plans fall apart.

Fun fact: I wasn’t going to bother with Six Feet Under’s new LP. Mostly because, unlike most people, I just came to the conclusion that the band was far beyond saving and wasn’t worth the effort of even a piddy listen. But what was supposed to be here was a review of the new Steel Panther album, because I figured I’ve been talking about metal a little bit too much on this blog and needed something a little different. However, I was unable to secure a copy, so I did what any reasonable person would do… I cried. Then, after that, I hopped on Spotify to see if there was anything recent worth looking into, or at least, worth tearing apart.

Boy, Six Feet Under are a weird beast, eh? Frontman Chris Barnes’ side project turned full project when he was fired from Cannibal Corpse, and somehow ever since then, each release has only continued to smush his once prominent name into the dirt. Everybody jumped down the band’s throat last year when they released Graveyard Classics 6, aka the one where they ruin only Iron Maiden and Judas Priest tracks. Like I said before, I didn’t care enough to even get mad them, but I’m forced to listen to Torment, the first Six Feet Under record I’ve heard since their Graveyard Classics 1. By the way, GC1 is way worse than GC6 because they tackle a whole range of songs, and ruin them twice as hard.

If I were to describe Torment in one word it would be “painful” (ironic). The whole experience is just painful. I don’t usually review death metal albums in full because it can be tricky to properly review them. There are only so many times I can say “this album is very brutal” or “this album is not very brutal”, but Six Feet Under is different because it’s just fascinating how bad it can truly get. My god, where do I start.

Let’s start with the most obvious thing: Chris Barnes’ vocals. Him being the frontman and all, you’d assume that all the talent is based in him. He’s supposed to be the godfather of cookie-monster death growls, so he must be absolutely crushing it, right? No. Not at all. On a Cannibal Corpse record, Chris Barnes’ growls were a sight to behold. Front and center, his hoarse growls where the backbone of the brutal death genre. So what’s different now? Pure and simple, he sound like he is struggling to growl. Instead of his meaty voice flowing from his throat like an angry lawnmower on high, Barnes’ voice has become a raspy shell of itself. His efforts to recreate the monster that was his former voice results in one of the most unnatural and bland sounding vocal deliveries I’ve heard in a long while. And, it doesn’t help that most of the music doesn’t compliment his voice at all.

As I said before, half of the fun of death metal comes in the form of how brutal it can sound. Therein lies the problem with the music surrounding Six Feet Under: it’s a bunch of guys emulating what brutal guys sound like, rather than just being brutal. Classic Cannibal Corpse knew how to do this: loud heavy guitars, fast chaotic riffs, mixed with slower crushing ones all accentuated by a loud production and solid beat. Six Feet Under’s production is far too clean, loosing any authenticity to the brutal sound. The guitars are too mild, the riffs too samey, Barnes’ vocals too dry, and anything that could resemble the brutality the band is searching for have long been exhausted by the likes of Dying Fetus, Cannibal Corpse and the entirety of the death metal genre. It’s a bunch of guys re-treading old ground. And when the band isn’t re-treading, they’re borrowing heavily from the classic rock and speed metal catalog which the band does little with other than to try and ruin other genres along with death metal (see “Knife Through The Skull” for evidence). Occasionally the bassist throws out a unique solo before careening back into the ditch that is Barnes’ direction, which only makes me ask: is there someone with talent in Six Feet Under? I’m genuinely surprised at some of his level of play as compared to the rest of the band. So please, mister bassist, leave this act behind and do something fulfilling with your talents.

Whether or not you truly fell for the vile, puss-filled routine of Cannibal Corpse’s “I Cum Blood” or “Entrails Ripped From A Virgin’s Cunt”, chances are you were at least mildly shocked at how disgusting and intense it sounded. That’s kinds the inside joke of death metal: it’s supposed to be gross and shocking. Torment carries none of that spirit. As intense as Barnes wants “Skeleton” and “Sacrificial Kill” to sound, his lyrical writing is just as dry and boring as his vocals.

Honestly the whole album just made me bored. Pure and simple: bored. My eyes glazed over with every passing note. Riffs with no point or imagination or skill, vocals that barely escaped Barnes’ lips, lifeless drums, it was aggressively dull. I’m surprised that this album even exists. That this can be bought on store shelves whilst Lich King and Texas Toast Chainsaw Massacre are left to their own devices on the indie scene. On the other hand, if this is what mainstream death metal wants to push, I guess I can live with a smug sense of righteousness that giving it a bad review can bring. Ha ha. This album sucks, go listen to Abnormality.

1/10